If you ended up here, it's likely that you know me already. If you do not, here is a little about me, which I am sure you are just dying to know.
I was born in 1982 in Southeast Missouri. I grew up here, with the exception of a few summers in northern Illinois. I was home-schooled due to religious reasons, and raised in a rather strict Fundamental Christian family. I was involved in the Evangelical Christian lifestyle for most of my life, until I moved away from home, and was encouraged to take a good look at my beliefs. I chose to walk away from that faith and that lifestyle a few years ago, a journey you can read more about here. I now consider myself an Agnostic as well as a Secular Humanist.
I am happily married to a wonderful guy. He has helped me through a lot of self-induced craziness, stayed by my side through my bouts of unfaithfulness, and been instrumental in helping me become an open-minded person. While I am fairly certain he thinks I am insane, he still sticks by me. I love you, baby.
He and I made the decision to not have children early on in our relationship, a decision that was probably the wisest we have ever made. I've posted a blog concerning my reasons, which you can read here.
I've been working at a local ISP since 2002, which is something I have both loved and hated. I am currently the Technical Support Manager. It can be stressful and frustrating at times, but it pays the bills and leaves me with plenty of vacation time to help with the inevitable burn out.
I am currently attending a community college, in order to complete the basic courses and credits needed to move on to a larger school for my degree. My (tentative) career goal is to work in Funeral Service, preferably as an embalmer. My degree will be in Mortuary Science, which has been a fascinating field for me for quite some time now. I've always been interested in all things morbid, such as the process of decomposition and death in general. It sounds like a strange thing to be interested in, but it's one of the only things that has been able to hold my interest for a long period of time.
Speaking of things that are morbid, I've always been inexplicably drawn to the "dark side". From music to movies to literature, even in the seasons and the time of day I enjoy. I adore clouds and rain, snow and cold weather, night and the absence of light in general. I love horror movies, especially those with vampire or zombie themes. I have an obsession with true crime and the lives of serial killers. I am utterly fascinated by deviants, especially the ones that are so completely beyond anything society would consider normal or acceptable. As you may have guessed, my favorite, (if the usage of that word isn't too creepy) is Jeffrey Dahmer. To me, he seems to be the most human of all the monsters, or possibly, the most monsterous of all the humans. I have considered in the past studying for a degree in criminal psychology, for the opportunity to study these individuals one-on-one, and maybe, just maybe get a glimpse below the surface and see how madness truly lives. As macabre as it may be, these killers, always dubbed as monsters, are not that different from you or I. Most of us just choose to reject the insanity, the violence and the darkness, while they, the deviants, choose to embrace it.
I love to blog and surf the web, probably a little too much. I find an odd pleasure at seeing my words on the screen, and knowing that I am part of a subculture of sorts. Don't get me wrong, there are many other things that I love to do, like watching good movies (mostly horror, cult films or psychological thrillers) or losing myself in a good book. As far as books go, my favorites are generally centered around dark subjects or dystopian societies.
I like attention, but I also have a lot of social anxiety, so you won't find me starting conversations or making small talk with people I don't know unless I've had a few drinks. I love alcohol, especially good wine. I love to try new foods and beverages; I will try anything once!
I don't have many friends, but on occasion I do like to go out, especially to concerts. If I were wealthy, I would likely spend the majority of my time following around my favorite bands like a pathetic groupie. Oh wait, I kinda do that already. I enjoy music immensely, mostly the rock genre, but I've listened to and been exposed to many different types of music. I generally listen to music that speaks to me in some way, that evokes emotion, be it happiness, lust, sadness or anger. Music should say something, both in lyric and in sound. I support local and independent artists as often as I can, especially those who choose to forgo signing with a record label to retain their artistic integrity and maintain full control of their music. It's harder for these artists to survive, so when I find decent bands that work their asses off to make great music, I shell out the cash for t-shirts and CDs, support them online as much as I can, and show up to the shows whenever they are near. Music is my passion, and big name record labels are a scar on the face of the industry.
Well, that's me! If you want to know anything else, please feel free to ask! Most days you can catch me on AIM, Gtalk or MSN. My screen name for each is deletedsoul[at]gmail[dot]com.
Ciao and thanks for stopping by!
Be sure to visit me at my main site: http://www.deleteditems.net
